Justin Bieber: Ultimate Muffin

A completely expressive phrase that I have adopted from my friend Lauren is: muffin.  A muffin is usually a person, over the age of ten, who is either really cute, really sweet, really dorky, or someone you’re just obsessed with.  Here are some examples:

  1. Dad’s carrying toddlers on their shoulders
  2. New moms with cute clothes and haircuts
  3. Boys who bring flowers to girls they like
  4. Really friendly people
  5. Really awkward people (who aren’t aware of it)
  6. Big guys who remind you of teddy bears
  7. Grandpas
  8. Grandmas
  9. Other old people you don’t know, who wear silly clothing

Those are just some of the muffins I have seen in the past, and you will probably notice from now on.  As a side note, I’d like to point out that although we all think babies are so cute and adorable, for me, they are not muffins — they qualify as cupcakes (which is a whole different blogpost).  When you become more familiar with this phrase, you can start clarifying the type of muffin that you have spotted, however, it is important to be very selective and contemplative about who you choose and the specific kind of muffin they embody.  For instance, there should always be a definitive reason to identify someone as a bran muffin, or a cinnamon swirl muffin (two very distinct, and yummy, tastes).

After defining what a Muffin can be, I’d like to introduce you to my new muffin obsession…

The newest pre-teen sensation!!


Justin Bieber is the muffiniest muffin that has entered the music world (and my life) in quite some time.  We’ve been given Miley Cyrus (more of a fame hungry slut than a muffin), the Jo Bros (kinda gay and hammy), and Tay Swif (too “sweet” for my taste) — an unfortunate amalgamation of pubescent overcompensation. Luckily, a cute boy named Justin, who is apparently a close friend of Usher, came on the spot with One Time.  His little boy voice is irrelevant when you watch how talented and cutie-pie he is.  Gradually, I have become his biggest, and probably oldest :(, fan and have started looking up videos of his performances on youtube… like a ginormous creeper. So this one is my faves because he is seranating another youtube star, Esmée Denters




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This blog is dedicated to my good friend Kirsten.  She is not only the funniest person I’ve ever known, utilizing her biting wit whenever applicable, but she also finds the weirdest things throughout her daily life. Like, for example… this little gem:Bligee!It’s a site called Blingee.com and, God knows how she found it, but it is the silliest site ever.  On Kirsten’s amazing blog, Belly Shirts (http://bellyshirts.wordpress.com), she posted a couple of hilariously blinged out pics, and I had to go through my archive of high school gems and pull out this sucker! First of all, what are we wearing? Secondly, look how much cooler we become with all that flashing crap over it! I love this site!!!

Thank you Kir, for your amazing find.

sonnyboy I just wanted to leave you all with this pensive dog (who looks uncannily like Sonnyboy) who is relaxing in a Snuggie watching tv.  OOOoo I love him!

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The Face-Plant

I was thinking about the tumble I took this past Friday and how I didn’t simply trip, I face-planted.  The Face-Plant is a special kind of trip where, usually, you don’t have time to be shocked, scared, or worried about your safety because it happens so quickly, that you just find yourself face down on the ground.  The story goes: My friends and I were coming back from a dated function, and I was enthusiastically telling an (I’m sure) incredibly interesting story, when we all realize the crosswalk countdown is at 4 seconds! My friends who have speed-walked ahead of me break into a jog in order to cross one of the busiest streets in State College.  As I try to continue my story, while still crossing the street in time, my right foot lagged a little (i’m going to guess), and it rolled into a donut shape with the rest of my leg, creating a domino affect that left my entire body, face down, in the middle of the intersection….

faceplantAt this time, the cars are heading toward me at a rapid rate, while my best friend runs back to physically pull my body off the pavement.  Meanwhile, I have not been distracted.  I am still trying to tell my story, whatever the hell it was, and stress how funny it is. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that, at this point, my story is NOT the funny part of this moment.  After the incident, I was thinking about how much funnier a Face-plant is than just a regular trip.  Trips are pretty awkward, and are normally followed by an awkward chuckle here and there, but a Face-plant can never be avoided and must be guffawed at (don’t worry, mine definitely was).  I also think it’s strange that “Don’t Slip” signs show a person slipping on their cushiony buttocks region:slip_and_fall

Like, what is that? I very rarely slip and fall on my butt, and if I do, my body is not harmed in the least.  Being at school where snow falls and ice covers everything, I’ve learned that falling on your ass is a normal occurrence, so in addition to my cushiony fall, I barely even notice that I should be embarrassed.

The Face-plant has never, and will never, be that ambiguous.  Beware, because although it can serve for a good story, it’s best to wear a helmet.

On a side note: I hope you all enjoy this reenactment of the Aunt Telcia picture.  I guess you realize how wonderful your friends are, when they agree to participate in something like this. Thanks guys, sorry i’m so strange.

So… here we go. Can you find Sara?

Aunt Sara?


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Is there such a thing as having too much to say?

I recently decided to start another blog because, well, I literally always have something to say, and I think my roommates (… and my mom) are getting really sick of it.  So let’s do it!!

The reason I chose Rat Tails as my new title is because we have a love/hate relationship.  They are both awesome and totally gross at the same time.  On one hand, they can be smooth and wavy, spreading softly over the center of the back, but on the other hand, in case of a fancy occasion, one can simply fashion a tight braid with the short hair in front gelled back.  It is so much better than the overplayed mullet.  So versatile and influential, the rat tail will never be in style, yet, coincidentally, never go out of style.  I love it too much.

rat tail

unfortunate...ly awesome!

I really enjoy the ones that get really long, like the one above.  I wonder if people tug on it all day, kind of like a “kick me” sign.

I also wanted to post one more thing because right now, it is absolutely my favorite thing.  My friends and I found it on awkwardfamilyphotos.com and although there are hundreds of hilarious pictures, this one takes the cake:

Aunt Telcia

Now, all I want you to do, is look at the photo of this nice family, smile, and then try to find Aunt Telcia.  They seem to have lost her somewhere.  For those of you who have seen this before, congratulations!! I consider you very lucky, and if you are with someone else, keep quiet. The reaction is priceless.  I screamed bloody murder and threw my computer across the room… it was wonderful!

I hope one day, my family will reenact this photo in loving memory of it’s greatness.

Happy New Blog Day!!! Yipee skipee!

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