Let me introduce you to the most useless piece of technology ever created. It’s is the new iPod Shuffle. If someone were to ask me about a shuffle I would describe it as a small rectangular piece of plastic with no screen that plays about 100 of your favorite songs. This device, from my past (age 14), had regular iPod buttons like Play, Rewind, Stop and a larger plug on the bottom to connect to my computer.
Today, however, my mind was blown… and then extremely confused. Learning that my mom went to get groceries with the car that contained all of our iPods, I had to be resourceful for my daily jog. I called my mom and she directed me to the “small shuffle” she had in her other purse. What I pulled out of that purse was no shuffle, it was some kind of blank fingernail-sized piece of plastic. The only plug on it was for earphones and there was not ONE button to be found. I have several questions for my mother when she comes back:
How did you transfer any songs on to this thing in the first place? How do you skip a song? How does one adjust the volume if at all?
This is what it looks like –>
I mean… seriously, that is too small to function. It bares resemblance to Zoolander’s microscopic phone. So after my initial shock, I put in my earphones and clicked the tiny on/off button with my fingernail. I started to jog, and then realized I was stuck with “Dear Mr. President” by Pink. ughhh… mom and her iTunes. There was no way around it. I was forced to listen to the entire slow and complain-y song before Sexy Bitch finalllyy came on after what felt like an hour. Eventually, as I rounded the bend back to my house, “Part Of Your World” from The Little Mermaid came on. This song is great when you choose it for a fun sing-along with your friends, but when you’re already about to keel over from exhaustion, it’s a real downer. Sorry Ariel.